I started college thinking I would be an artist when I left. After college I never wanted to put pencil to paper again. Two years later when my mother 
                  died the creative outpouring happened in the form of writing.
  
                  I started with number 1 and continued, I am still writing the list today. These are from the catalogue and because I once read that it was the height of
                  laziness not to give your poems a title I refer to those that I just can't name by number.
                  
                  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  
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                   COPYRIGHT All content (words and images) © Harriet Duncan  1997-2004  (unless explicitly quoted or credited)  Please link if you quote and ask permission to use images.
  
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181.
  
An overwhelming sense of sadness 
Bears down 
A shroud of loss hanging around my shoulders. 
 
Two tears seep out from beneath eyelids.  
After making love  
Lover mentally slips away.  
The trace on my face is salty  
Dries taught.  
 
One day I wake - face calcified  
Hardened stoneware  
Clay  
Unable to react.  
 
  
180. 
Breaking up 
  
The pain  
Drips from my heart  
Bleeds into my chest cavity  
Filling the emptiness  
With viscous liquid  
That slows me down  
Enveloping me. 
  
Open heart surgery  
Cut savagely  
At the flesh  
Tear back the flaps  
Rip out the organ  
That rots inside  
Sew the skin  
Over the gaping hole  
Patched not mended.
   
No heart.  
No hurt.  
 
  
179. 
Promises, promises 
  
Broken promises  
wadded up into a ball 
tossed into the wind 
roll down the street  
Tumbleweed 
changing direction 
at the slightest gust. 
Or, released 
from lips to drift 
in the air 
sprinkled confetti ending up 
pavement soiled 
brushed up against the wall.  
Each flake a reminder of 
pretty words nicely spoken 
until they disintegrate.  
 
  
177. 
Japanese Porn circa 1423
  
Fat white bodied men  
Flushed pink cheeks  
Black hair, ornate  
Formal kimonos  
Gold dragon on red
   
Women to serve  
Every sexual need  
Porcelain skin  
Loosing an ornamental garmet  
Provocatively  
Off the shoulder  
Revealing a breast
   
Large penises  
Dipped into pink  
Mouths or lips  
Crouched behind  
Craned over  
Beneath above  
Beside 
One at each end  
Hands, feet, tongues  
Genteel hardcore erotica.  
 
  
174.
  
I turn to my lover  
Passionately grip his face  
In my hand  
Draw him to me  
Our warm soft mouths  
meet parting  
Revealing the 
Explorative parts.  
I pull away.  
What I wouldn't give  
For my mother  
To know this man  
Of mine
   
Video taped dreams  
Me and him  
Walking arm in arm  
Bump into a woman  
In the street  
Near Regent's Park  
Turns out to be her  
Chat like distant relatives  
Part,  
Not knowing when  
We will meet again,  
But leave with that warm glow  
Isn't it amazing  
When you meet people you know  
In this enormous city.  
 
  
173.
  
Misty rain glow  
From lights  
Hides tears falling  
Drops on spectacles' lenses  
Obscure vision further  
Ice drops needle cheeks  
Strangely burning glow  
Outer skin veils  
Inner turmoil  
That feels the same.  
 
  
172.
  
People come and go  
I have known some  
And lost many.  
Looking through the lens  
Slowly turning the focus ring  
they drift into your life  
Make some kind of impression  
Drift out again.  
An experimental film  
Where the focus shifts from  
Foreground to distance  
Hard to maintain  
Concentration on one point.  
And when it ends you  
Contemplate the whole.  
 
  
149. 
S.A.D.  
Shadows of the neighbours in their lit  
windows christmas trees twinkling in the post  
new year dark.
   
Salt stains dried on pavements the remains  
of shortly melted city snow, black and slushy,  
lumpy ice.
   
Deary evenings out in half empty pubs,  
subdued good times scratched out from  
recoveries of over-indulgence.
   
Bleak months before the break of spring,  
nothing to look forward to except slowly  
lengthening days.
   
Human hibernation cannot fend off the  
infections of winter health, literal and mental.  
 
  
147.
  
In the gloom of the carriage  
A flame haired woman,  
the only spark of colour  
In a monotone world,  
Presses her body  
Against her lover.  
He's attentive  
She's clingy  
They kiss in the midst of commuters  
As is the custom with young love  
Then he gets off sprightly  
And as she turns she ages  
Hideously from youthful  
To middle age  
A witch  
After the potion wears off  
And in the gloom  
Of the early morning train  
She stands baring  
The reality of herself  
And disappears into the greyness.  
 
  
142.
  
Listening to music  
Moves my body  
Seexxxyyy  
Makes me want to come  
And drops keep pounding  
A rhythm to my brain  
la di da di da  
Oh yeah  
 
  
138.
  
Couples dating,  
Mating,  
Frustrating.  
Half my pair  
Is never there.  
 
  
114.
  
Sit alone  
Drinking gin and tonic  
In a noisy bar  
Winding down from  
The terror of the day.  
 
  
92.
  
Rivulets of water  
Run down my alabaster skin  
Pour off around my feet  
Hide the tears from my eyes  
Wish it could wash away  
The damaged softness inside  
And the depths of despair  
 
  
82.
  
Inside my clothes I am naked.  
Walking around with my  
Body rubbing against them  
I feel sexy  
Feel the throb of your penis  
Deep within me  
Gasp at the pleasure  
This brings me.  
Inside my clothes I am naked.  
 
  
80.
  
I lean towards you  
Your lips seek mine out  
Close my eyes  
As the taste of passion  
Seeps from your mouth  
Ecstasy.  
 
  
76.
  
I look at you  
An overpowering urge to kiss  
Every inch of your body  
Manifests itself in my brain  
Stroke you  
Smooth you  
Lick you  
Taste you  
I want to  
But I don't think you will let me.  
 
  
72.
  
He got on  
Stood by the open window  
Head nearly reached the ceiling.  
He wore a black three piece suit  
With a black teeshirt.  
The sharpest suit.  
I looked at him in his sharp suit  
Close cut hair  
Pencil mustache  
Chewing gum quietly.  
He looked at me looking at him  
I caught his eye  
He didn't look away  
I was embarrassed, I looked away.  
I looked back.  
An extremely tall man in a sharp suit.  
A suit that hung beautifully from his body  
Cloth which had drape but not sag.  
He caught my eye again  
My breath intook  
He was sexy  
Tall, sharp, sexy  
Twenty years older than me  
My lips flickered into a smile  
I gave myself away.  
 
  
64.
  
You speak in a soft voice  
I don't always hear  
What you are saying.  
I listen to the undulations  
Flow and lilt.  
Voice like velvet.  
It strokes my ear.  
I feel it in my brain and in my body.  
 
  
60.
  
Smooth, hard body  
Lying next to me.  
Hand gently stroking  
Lengthy thigh cooled by air.  
Long leg  
Wraps around my hip  
Pulls me close  
Arm slides across my back.  
Eye to eye, smiling.  
Leaning together to kiss.  
 
  
56.
  
I look at the grey day  
Green leaves on the trees  
Hear the cars passing in the street  
Listen to the silence in the house  
Her face appears in my minds eye  
Briefly  
And is gone  
Every day is like this  
A thought fleeting through the monotony.  
 
  
33.
  
Dark smooth chocolate lustre  
Enveloping pale ivory.  
Large black hands twice  
The size of white hands  
Touching palm to palm  
Fingers slowly intertwine  
Clasping strongly.  
 
  
31.
  
The alone feeling  
Coming down on me  
Like a mist over a hill.  
Cold in my back  
Creeping into my feet.  
Burning blood  
Is chilled  
Passion killed.  
 
  
30.
  
I ache  
With desire for you.  
I lay belly up  
You penetrated me.  
I moved against you  
Wth you, on you.  
My eyes rolled back  
My insides in flames  
I roused you.  
I excited you.  
I wanted you.  
Again and again and again.  
You kissed me  
I kissed you back.  
There was tenderness.  
There was passion.  
There was lust.  
There was everything.  
I feel the trace of you now.  
A faint hint of the feeling  
That was there.  
I long for it again.  
My inner body screams for it.  
I ache with desire for you.  
 
  
27.
  
You look dishevelled  
You said  
I am having a bad day  
I said  
Oh, there there,  
You said, totally straight  
Without a hint of sarcasm  
You put your arm around my shoulder  
To comfort me  
I snuggled into your jacket  
This is nice  
I said  
I'm glad you like it  
You said  
Sometimes it catches the snow  
On the collar and makes your face cold  
I listened to your explanation  
I thought it was a nice coat  
But that wasn't what I meant.  
 
  
23.
  
I close my eyes.  
A film of you  
Plays inside my eyelids.  
I sigh to let out the anxiety.  
I am smiling.  
My finger traces  
The edge of my mouth  
I imagine the taste  
Of you on it.  
 
  
19. 
The Ever Present 
  
I look over my shoulder and I see her.  
I overhear a stranger and I hear her.  
I walk down the street, I feel her.  
I feel alone and I need her.  
I eat and I taste her.  
But she is no more.  
 
  
18.
  
My face is caked in plaster  
If I smile it will crack  
And fall to pieces.  
Behind my eyes  
My soul feels heavy.  
I listen to myself breathe  
To remember that I am alive.  
In my head my brain is racing  
Outside I walk through treacle.  
 
  
15.
  
She was ill  
I thought  
She could get better  
But she didn't.
   
She died  
I tried not  
To think that she would  
But she did.
   
She is gone  
I try to  
Remember how she was  
But I can't.  
 
  
14. 
Remember, remember 
  
I remember the wound  
I remember her confusion  
I remember her lying dying in bed  
I remember the blood pressure line sinking  
I remember her dead  
I remember her body with the blood settling  
I remember the coffin with roses  
I wish I could remember her.  
 
  
13.
  
I am alone  
I am lonely.
   
I am silent  
But screaming inside.
   
I am frustrated  
There is a knot in my chest.
   
My eyes are dry  
My heart is weeping.
   
I am sighing  
My head is heavy.
   
I laugh  
But do not mean it. 
  
 
  
9.
  
I am waiting  
Waiting for you to return.  
I wait for you to  
Open the front door  
And this dead time  
Will disappear.  
The truth is hard to bear.  
I can't believe  
You won't come back.  
I am waiting  
For you to return.  
Even though  
I have your ashes.  
 
  
5.
  
never to see  
never to speak to  
never to laugh with  
never to touch  
never  
never again  
ever  
 
  
3.
  
I watch her breathe her last breath  
And life slips away  
The effort of the struggle to live  
Shows on the waxy mask of death  
That her face has become  
There is a hole in my heart  
That nothing will heal.  
 
  
1.
  
I walk around under a bus stop  
With a man with one-length hair  
And beautiful wide eyebrows.  
I am pacing, heart pumping  
Unable to calm down.  
Why do we refrain from kissing strangers?  
I could screw him  
Just for the curve of his eyebrows.  
  
                  
                 			                    
                     
                    
                 	© Harriet Duncan 1995 - 2004	
                    
  
                  
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